Striving for perfection

We are all afraid of them.
We are afraid because they make us look less than perfect.
We may know that perfection does not exist but we still strive for it anyway.
We do, because life would be so much easier if perfection existed.

We create this unique perfect world in our heads where everything goes according to plan, where we always look and feel good, where dreams come true instantly and we all live happily ever after. This is a place in the future we strive to reach, we work so hard to get there and it seems that it is always out of reach. Foolishly we forget the simple logic, the nature of life and we run towards something unattainable. In the process, we lose even the slightest chance of happiness there is. We do not appreciate what we have, we are always comparing ourselves to somebody else who seems to have it all together, who seems to have reached this utopia.

Reality is a bit different – some people are good at faking it and those who actually have it all together, do so, because they have accepted already that this ideal place does not exist and they could either beat themselves up about the state of the world we live in or get up and do something to change it.

The only real way to be happy is to accept what we cannot change, to work on what we can and to live in the meantime. We are often so busy to go somewhere that we never pay attention to what is around us every day. We only notice that we are not where we want to be and this makes us profoundly unhappy.

Going back to making mistakes… we are often so anxious before dozens of things – interviews, exams, first dates, first workdays, meeting new people… I could go on for so long. At the end, we are nervous and afraid of failing, of making mistakes and essentially of being far from perfect. I was recently trying to remember the mistakes I had made at interviews or exams or whatever and you know what?! I could not remember any.

Yes, I did remember the rejections, the pain of failure at certain events, the lessons I learned but not the actual mistakes.

Then I got into thinking ‘Why am I stressing over every little detail and tiny mistake I may make when I won’t remember it a year from now?!’. There is no point in having a huge panic attack because of something you won’t even remember… Anyways, try telling my heart this and see how much it is going to listen.

And the reason is that we have been conditioned into thinking that we should be ashamed of making mistakes, of failing, essentially of being human and our pure soul is just reacting to what we are feeding it.

Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough – that we should try again.
– Julia Cameron

The moment, we accept that nothing will ever be perfect, that we are not perfect and that is completely fine, is the moment we have reached our utopia. This is the moment we are going to feel free to be whoever we want to be and not feel ashamed of it. This is the moment our heart and soul will stop reacting with panic to bullsh*t and start reacting with love to the strength we have to go out in the world and try to change something.

Be kind to yourselves! You are perfect just the way you are!

Thank you, guys.

Lots of love xx

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